


A Broken Promise

by lamujerdeplata



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Angst, fuck you Snoke, sad dad Han Solo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-17
Updated: 2016-09-17
Packaged: 2018-08-15 13:34:53
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,459
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8058346
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lamujerdeplata/pseuds/lamujerdeplata
Summary: Han Solo was a lot of thing: a scoundrel, a cheat, and a war hero. When the squirming, squealing bundle was placed into his arms the smuggler took on a new title – father.He made a promise when his son was born, and broke it. Han would regret it for the rest of his life.





	

Han Solo was a lot of thing: a scoundrel, a cheat, and a war hero. When the squirming, squealing bundle was placed into his arms the smuggler took on a new title – father.  He would never admit it to his wife, but he was terrified of the new life in his arms. All Han had ever had before the rebellion was Chewie, and now Leia was entrusting him with the care of a baby, his _son_. The possibility of failing such a precious gift seemed all too real to the normally charismatic man.

But all of his fear, all of his doubts paled in comparison to the overwhelming love he felt for the tiny person in his arms.

And though he couldn’t promise he wouldn’t fail his son, Han did promise this,

“I will never leave you, Ben.”

* * *

 

When Ben was three, the nightmares started. Some were visions of the past, of gory battles waged in the glow of lightsabers, of young children being cut down by a blue blade, others were dreams of death and carnage from happenings that had yet to pass. Most off all, these nightmares featured a voice, that was cruel and fierce.

Ben, on a nightly basis, would creep into his parents room and sniffle and poke his father (mostly in the face) until Han cracked an eye open. Without fail, Han would scoop the little boy into his arms and snuggle him between the blankets and his mother. After a while, though, Han and Leia began to feel that little Ben needed to learn to fend for himself, believing that as he grew older, he only complained about the nightmares for attention.

By the time he was eight, Ben no longer came to his parents about his nightmares. He was sent to train with Luke three months after his ninth birthday.

Han would regret his negligence and sending his son away for the rest of his life.

* * *

 

When Leia contacted the Falcon, sobbing and gasping around her words, Han’s world fell apart. Luke missing, and his son… his son turned to the dark side. The nameless voice from Ben’s childhood nightmares now had a name, _Snoke_ , and the guilt of his mistakes threatened to consume Han altogether. Chewie held his dear friend as he cried, sobbing and shouting his pain, his failures as a parent and his broken promise.

His little boy was gone, consumed by the very thing that Ben came begging for help as a wide-eyed child. Ben was fifteen.

Han hadn’t seen him since he was ten.   

* * *

 

Years passed and rumors of the First Order grew and spread across the galaxy. There were whispers of a figure, cloaked in black with a mask of silver and darkness. They said he wielded a blade made of crackling fire and reeked havoc on all those who opposed the Order. A berserker who left despair and carnage in his wake. There were also rumors of a new rebellion rising, the Resistance. Hopeful murmurs said the famed Princess Leia Organa was at the helm, fighting again for freedom.

He hadn’t seen Leia since Ben… since… since it all went to hell.

Han’s heart broke all over again when the realization hit that the nightmarish creature was his son. The feeling of regret had become a permanent residence in smuggler’s heart. His failure a permanent fixture in his mind.

Finding the Falcon had seemed like a blessing, but then Han and Chewie found the stowaways. All of a sudden, all the years that had passed came crashing down around the aging man's head. A map to find Luke, the First Order destroying all the Rebel Alliance fought for… everything was for nothing.

And then, he saw _him,_  the figure in black, the boy who would come to Han when the nightmares got too much, the boy who would climb on Chewie’s shoulders to pretend like he was flying. _His son_.

Han stayed rooted to the ground, unwilling to raise his weapon against his son to save the girl. She was a bright kid, but he just _couldn’t_ do it. Flashbacks of a sweet boy with a face dotted with freckles and moles, smiling as bright as a sun played through his mind.

His little boy had grown into a monster.

* * *

 

Leia asked him to bring their son home. He said there was too much Vader in him, but perhaps he was wrong… Han hoped he was wrong as he stepped from his hiding place and approached the bridge his son was crossing.

Heart racing and hands nearly shaking as he shouted, “Ben!”

The figure in black stopped, stiff and back ramrod straight.

* * *

 

“Take off that mask, you don’t need it.”

“What do you think you’ll see if I do?” The mechanical voice responded.

“The face of my _son_ ,” the grieving father cried.

The helmet hissed as it opened. Black clad arms pulled it away from a face so familiar and yet so different. Ben. His face was still a constellation of freckles and moles, but his eyes were so different. The deep brown now dead and unfeeling, nothing like the curious and solemn eyes of a little boy from so long ago. Once chubby and youthful cheeks had hollowed out into harsh lines. Han realized with a heartbreaking jerk that this was the first time he’d seen his son’s face since he was ten years old.

“Leave here with me. Come home,” Han’s voice lowered into a gentle plea, “We miss you.”

For a moment, Han saw the little boy who’s nightmares drove him to his parents bed every night. His quivering lips and fidgeting eyes the same as Han remembered. 

“I’m being torn apart… I want to be free of this pain,” Ben paused as he looked down, unsure of himself. “I know what I have to do but I don’t know if I have the strength to do it. Will you help me?”

Han’s heart skipped a beat, “Yes. _Anything_.”

Ben dropped his mask, it made contact with the bridge with a heavy thud. He then unbuckled the murderous weapon from his side and held it out to his father with both hands. The hope that Han refused to believe in suddenly became too great to bright to ignore any longer. Could he really bring his boy home?

Han gripped the saber with one hand, staring into Ben’s eyes. For a moment, he truly believed he would bring Ben home, that Leia was right. Han had broken his promise once to never leave Ben, but maybe now he could atone for his mistakes and show Ben how _much_ he loved him.

But the moment vanished all too quickly. As the final rays of the dying sun faded, the little boy disappeared from his son’s eyes. The hard, emotionless look consuming the brown orbs as the red light became the only illumination against his son’s face. Han’s hope flickered and pain once again gripped his heart. Ben refused to let go of the saber, and he feared for his boy.

 _Ben_ …

The shock that overtook him as the unstable red saber ignited and speared him nearly blinded him with pain. Faintly, Han could her Chewie and the girl cry out with despair. Ben’s hand gripped his shoulder tightly as he stared into his eyes.

“Thank you,” he said before jerking the blade from his father’s body.

For a moment, Han didn’t feel the pain, didn’t hear Chewie or Rey or Finn. He only saw the little boy he promised to never leave. He saw the man standing in front of him and wished he was able to see him grow, had been able to protect him from the pain and suffering that Snoke imposed upon him. He reached up to touch his son’s face for the last time, its warm flesh soft against his calloused hand.

The hope he had for his son did not fade entirely. Han prayed that his death would be the catalyst needed for Ben to break free of Snoke. As his vision faded, and the pain evaporated, Han felt the grip of Ben’s hand slip from his shoulder. He fell back and a final thought that encompassed his mind before everything ended.

 _I love you Ben_ …

Han didn’t feel the wind rush up to meet him as he fell, nor did he see the confliction in his son’s eyes. He wouldn’t know that Leia would carry on his flicker of hope for their son. He wouldn’t know that his hope had the potential to change the entire outcome of the war. It was all Han could ask for if he knew.

* * *

 

 _Maybe, just_ **_maybe_ ** , a distant voice thought, _hope will be enough to bring light to the galaxy again_.

 


End file.
